While Brad was in the bathroom, I was rocking on all fours while talking to my mom (she is a labor and delivery nurse) confirming this was it. Then within twenty minutes, we had said a prayer, grabbed our bags, camera, and way too many socks. I even put mascara on. (So, I'm a little vain...)
On our way to the hospital we called Brad's mom and dad, and my dad. We assured them we did NOT want/need them there, and that we would call when she was here. By the time we got to the hospital, my contractions were about 2 to 2 1/2 minutes apart, and we were admitted at 5+ cm and 90% effaced. She was definitely coming!
It was very calm in L&D, and we decided to walk the halls for a little while. It lasted about 30 minutes before we decided to stay in the room. I intended to use the birthing ball, but as soon as I sat on it the contractions were all but taking the wind out of me. We watched a tiny bit of "That 70's Show", then decided we just needed to concentrate. Brad coached me through every contraction, and by 2:15 am we were 7 cm dilated.
My contractions became more like waves, ebbing and flowing and giving me only moments of rest between. My nurse and Brad kept me calm and under control (poor Brad almost lost his hand a couple times!) and at 2:45 am I was an 8, my water hadn't broken yet (yay), and they called Dr. Bierer because I was in transition. That was when I hit the "wall". I no longer believed I could do it unmedicated. I asked what my options were. Janeen, my incredible nurse, said we could do an epidural but my little girl would be there before it had any effect. She told me what a great job we were doing, and assured me I was strong enough. With every contraction I hummed loudly, anchored myself to Brad, and tried not to fight my body against the contractions.
Dr. Bierer came in (glasses, uncombed hair, and looking only half-awake), checked me at 8 cm still and not quite fully effaced. He broke my water to move things along, and WOW!!! I was SO grateful we had waited to do that!!! No more cushion for the contractions! Dr. Bierer walked out to go to the bathroom, and as the next contraction hit, I HAD to push. I said so to Janeen, as I fought the urge (NOT easy to do!) who checked me, told the other nurse to get Dr. Bierer (still on his way to the bathroom), and suddenly the room was busy. Brad and I were suddenly in our own bubble, and when he looked down he said, "uh, I can see her head..." while the nurses were taking apart the bed (we are pretty sure they broke it, I heard an "oops"...), Dr. Bierer was trying to throw his smock, gloves, and mask on (the smock wasn't all the way on) and saying, "Don't push! Don't push!" (Ha!) so I literally crossed my legs to hold her in. My body was taking over. Finally he said, "Okay, push!" .. I went silent, I stopped feeling pain, instead felt incredible pressure, and within seconds her head was out. He said I could rest for a second, but my body was in control, and the rest of her body flew out.
Instant. Relief. It was the most incredible feeling. 3:05 am, and our little girl was here. On Friday the 13th, of course. She was put on my chest, and I began to cry. She was here! Finally! Brad was crying too, and when they took her over to measure and weigh he stared at her in quiet reverence. It was the most sacred experience of my life. He brought her back to me, and we cried and stared at her. Sometime during those first few minutes, I delivered the placenta and asked to see it (it really is very cool), got one stitch, and was congratulated by Dr. Bierer. We were in our own world, though. Just our little family. We were taken to postpartum, I stood and walked between the bed and wheelchair. I felt so light. It was such a high! We called parents, snuggled up together, and watched the sun come up over the pond and fountain our window overlooked. It was a perfect night.
Even though I still remember how awful the pain was, I know I will go unmedicated again. I have recovered so easily, I feel so good. I am so grateful to Brad and his reassurance the whole time that I was strong and could do it. I am also grateful to my nurse Janeen... She was constantly assuring me that I was doing great and coaching my breathing.
So here I am, holding my beautiful daughter in my arms. I am a mother. Finally. It is an incredible, humbling feeling. I have no idea how to do this, or how I will survive the next 18+ years. But I am so grateful.
Breastfeeding is going really well, and Valerie has such a sweet disposition. She rarely cries, wakes up 1-2 times during the night just to eat, and seems to be taking in the entire world when she is awake. She stares at open windows, and locks eyes with Brad and me. She loves to snuggle up on her daddy's chest and go for walks. We are sure it is Heavenly Father's way of assuring we have more children! (It will be a while before #2, though!)
Oh, and we are cloth diapering and LOVING it! I'll blog more about that later. Now, pictures!
Breathing through a contraction
She's here! 7 lbs, 10 oz, 20 inches!
First family picture!
Daddy holding Valerie
Mommy snuggling Valerie
One tired dad
Diaper change! (We came home the day after)
First bath at home!
Daddy's favorite part of bath time...
Beautiful story! You are quite the woman! No drugs, one stitch, and you look amazing!!!! Congrats to you and your beautful family. Motherhood suits you (and it always has). Love you guys!
ReplyDeleteSo Amazing Sterling! I'm really glad you had a wonderful birth experience, I remember how it felt when my body just took over, So cool! Kudos to cloth diapering, I've had my ups and downs with that, but still going strong!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful birth story. It really is a wonder what a woman's body can do. So glad it all went well for you. Congratulations on the little one(she shares a birthday with my sister :))
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